Post by krystal on Sept 18, 2008 15:00:58 GMT
Found it on ozjokes 
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Just think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like, and hum that instead.
CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD recorders by having a p*ss before the film starts.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.
SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.
BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Just think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like, and hum that instead.
CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD recorders by having a p*ss before the film starts.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.
SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.
BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.
