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Post by claire on Jan 5, 2007 9:36:20 GMT
I know it's only Friday but I'm getting this thread up while I have the chance. The first book club of 2007 is Recipes for a Perfect Marriage by Kate Kerrigan. We'll start as usual around 8pm but if you can't make it, leave your commemts.
see you Monday 8th January
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Post by Abby on Jan 8, 2007 11:54:58 GMT
Yikes!! I didn't know about this one, I've forgotten our time difference again. I haven't read the book but i'll log on in the morn if I remember to see who's here.
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Post by Marisa on Jan 8, 2007 16:41:44 GMT
I thought this was a beautifully written charming book. I got a signed copy as a present from the author herslef days after my beloved grandmother passed away and the warm homely content of the boook put a smile on the face. I would recommend this to every woman who values friendships and strong bonds with family. It reminded me so much of the traditional values my granny installed in me herself. I loved every page of it.
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Post by Karen on Jan 8, 2007 18:39:28 GMT
This another book which I haven't been able to get hold of yet so unfortunately this is another book club I'm going to have to miss.
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:01:03 GMT
I was very lucky to get a loan of this book from Megan. I loved it too, got me thinking about a lot of stuff. The recipes were lovely inbetween the chapters and the fact that they were woven into the story made them even better. She also mentioned doing a ham in cola which reminds me to ask Megan how did yours turn out?
The relationship with the grandmother and grandfather was really something. I think if she could have just let her first love go that she would have had a great life with James(?) He was a very patient man
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Post by Shirley on Jan 8, 2007 20:05:49 GMT
Hi girls, I haven't read the book but I am lurking around anyway to see what you guys thought of it!
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:07:40 GMT
Shirley you should read it, it's a real 'girl book' with a great look on relationships
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 20:19:39 GMT
Good Evening everyone! I am so glad that we are discussing this book as I LOVED it! What a wonderful present to be given, Marisa, at that very difficult time for you. I found the descriptions of the grandmother's life very homey and comforting - they reminded me of my own Granny who I love so much ( I say this in the present tense, even though she no longer is living - I will love her forever.) Anyway about this book - I found the whole idea of it very interesting and unusual. The author's arguement is that women these days are looking for too much out of marriage and should be happy with what they have. Like Claire said, if only the grandmother, Bernadine, could have let her first love go, and looked for the good in her husband, James, she would have been truly happy with him. In one way I agree with this arguement but in another I completely disagree. First of all I think it is ESSENTIAL to be truly madly and passionately in love with the man you marry (and I don't just mean thinking he's gorgeous looking and fab in bed, but that you truly love his soul aswell) but in this book neither the granddaugther nor the grandmother are in love with thier husbands. (Even though we the readers can see that they are wonderful and very lovable men) and what worried me about this tale is the suggestion that women should 'make do' with a situation. I don't believe that is good enough for marriage - it's not fair on the man in question or the woman - I felt terribly sorry for both Dan and James in the two stories. And I don't think either of the women should have married them. However I DO agree with the arguement of how a marriage works - ie. doing little things for each other every day -not just FEELING love but doing it, and making it a living action. I VERY much agree with that. So to sum up!  I think the recipe for a perfect marriage is to marry a man you absolutely adore, who drives you crazy with desire, AND to apply the principles of this story to make the marriage work ie. make love an action not a feeling - as no matter how gorgeous, sexy and absolutely dreamboat he is, you will hit hard times together, and that is NO time to pout and give up - that is the time to keep going and keep loving, even when sometimes you may not want to anymore. Am I making sense? Would love to know what you girls think! |
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Post by Abby on Jan 8, 2007 20:28:36 GMT
Megan, I havent read the book but what you said made perfect sense.
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 20:31:51 GMT
Oh good, Abby! I would highly recommend the book if you can get your hands on it. Hey you're getting married soon, aren't you?
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:36:04 GMT
hi Megan glad you're here.
I know what your saying. Bernie just put up with her 'stuation', like many women did in those times but she sometimes didn't know how good she had it. She may not have loved James but she had respect for him which is also important. I was so happy when after all the years went by and the pope came to Ireland (now that brought back memories!) and she went in search of her 'first love'Michael (?) finally she meets him, but goes to her husband instead. To me that was an act of love.
As for the Gradndaughter to me she was always wondering if something beter was going to come along instead of giving Dan the chance he truely deserved. She had been 'single' for so long it was hard for her to share and in a way I could understand her. I knew Hein 3 years when we got married. I saw him maybe 4 times a year in that period and for no longer than 2 weeks at a time. It was a shock to me when I moved over here and I realised that I was going to be with him 24 hours a day for the rest of my life! Major adjusting, I can tell you.
The little things are very important too even more than big grand gestures, think of the 'Love is.....' cartoons.
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Post by Abby on Jan 8, 2007 20:43:02 GMT
Too soon Megan, time seems to be flying. I'll have to keep my eyes open for the book. Our local book shop did have a business for sale sign in the window but its gone now. Hopefully they are getting enough business to say open.
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 20:43:50 GMT
Hi Claire, I'm glad you're here too!  I agree with you that it was an act of love and respect when Bernadine went back to her husband at that dance near the end of the story. She was quite right to as after all she had married James and made her choice. I'm not against sticking in a marriage through very tough times, but I am against people marrying 'anyone' just because they have reached a certain age and believe that they should get hitched - as I believe the granddaugther did. She was SO lucky to have her gorgeous, patient and handsome husband waiting for her while she was acting the ejjit!! Another thing I loved about this book was the end - we realise that the granddaughter has not yet read her grandmother's diary (but we have!). We know then that she will at last learn the truth behind the marriage she idolised and aspired to. I thought that was a wonderful little twist and I liked the idea of her reading those stories after I had closed the book - for me her character lived beyond the pages of the novel and I could imagine how happy she and Dan were going to be from then on. (I'm such a sop!) |
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:44:45 GMT
tell you what Abby, you let us know when you are getting married ane we'll send it to you for a wedding present!
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 20:46:39 GMT
Brilliant Idea Claire!!
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:50:16 GMT
I can only hope that she can learn something from her grandmother. I agree with you when you say that some get married because they've reached a certain age and don't want to be alone anymre. I wonder how the kitchen buisness will go for them, it too was part of the heart of the story.
But unlike James, Dan stood up for himself and more or less told her that he wouldn't put up with it. Only then did she realise what she had, well after she told him that she nearly slept with another man! I glad he wasn't a total walkover
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 20:53:47 GMT
Great to see you here Oonagh! Just noticed you have logged on!
Another hugely important thing I want to say about this book is the way in which it was written. I found it so honest, clear and razor sharp that I was riveted and found myself nodding my head and laughing out loud. There aren't many contemporary novels for women that I find to be so intelligent and with a really worthwhile arguement behind them - for me this was certainly one of them. A real gem! I wish there were more books like this around.
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 20:56:34 GMT
I liked that too about it, straight to the point
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Post by Abby on Jan 8, 2007 20:57:34 GMT
Aww Claire your such a sweetie, but I should look around for it myself, Haven't bought a book for ages. (no wonder the bookshop is thinking about closing) everybody has been sending me so many good books to read.
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 21:01:04 GMT
I loved that Dan stood up for himself too, Claire. What a man!! Makes me want to read it again. I loved his character and wonder if Morag Prunty based it on the character of her own husband - if so he must be a fine thing! |
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 21:05:46 GMT
I sometimes wonder where these writers get their male characters from, most sound too good to be true
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 21:09:05 GMT
I totally agree with you, Claire. And if they sound to good to be true, then I don't believe in them and I throw down the novel, roll my eyes, and then pick the novel up again to finish it!  But, I did believe in Dan. To me he was very real. And very much in love with her. Do you remember Luke in Rachel's Holiday - he was another real but fabulous man. They must be very difficult to write because most men in chick lit novels are either bastards or ridiculously caring, loving, patient blah blah blah - they make me want to puke and I don't believe in them for a second! |
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Post by Oonagh on Jan 8, 2007 21:11:13 GMT
hi girls sorry was eating my tea. i was in late from work than usually!!
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 21:12:58 GMT
NO worries, Oonagh. Let us know what you thought of the book when you've got yourself settled.
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 21:13:56 GMT
excatly. You could feel his presence in the book without even mentioning his name. The story was only told from the womans viewpoint and not the mans. You could sense him being there even when he wasn't mentioned
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 21:14:33 GMT
hi OOns, I knew you'd be late, take your time
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Post by Oonagh on Jan 8, 2007 21:27:45 GMT
ah thanks girls.here watching celebrity bb as well!! Any how I loved it!! i was quite shocked as myself and megan have very different tastes in books some times. I loved it!! I loved bernie the other main female character annoyed me a bit!!
First of all I think it is ESSENTIAL to be truly madly and passionately in love with the man you marry (and I don't just mean thinking he's gorgeous looking and fab in bed, but that you truly love his soul aswell) but in this book neither the granddaugther nor the grandmother are in love with thier husbands. (Even though we the readers can see that they are wonderful and very lovable men) and what worried me about this tale is the suggestion that women should 'make do' with a situation. I don't believe that is good enough for marriage - it's not fair on the man in question or the woman - I felt terribly sorry for both Dan and James in the two stories. And I don't think either of the women should have married them. However I DO agree with the arguement of how a marriage works - ie. doing little things for each other every day -not just FEELING love but doing it, and making it a living action. I VERY much agree with that.
So to sum up! I think the recipe for a perfect marriage is to marry a man you absolutely adore, who drives you crazy with desire, AND to apply the principles of this story to make the marriage work ie. make love an action not a feeling - as no matter how gorgeous, sexy and absolutely dreamboat he is, you will hit hard times together, and that is NO time to pout and give up - that is the time to keep going and keep loving, even when sometimes you may not want to anymore. Am I making sense? Would love to know what you girls think!
Do these men exisT???
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 21:34:15 GMT
sorry girls i have to go, have a man here that needs a little attention.
This is truely a great book and one that I would read again, will have to get my own copy. I loved the writting on the back, just not too sure how it went again, something along the lines of........
"They say there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. A perfect marriage is one where two people live together for most of their lives until death separates them. What there is no such thing as is an easy marriage".
that said enough for me
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Post by megan on Jan 8, 2007 21:35:45 GMT
Which men Oonagh? Do you mean the type of man that I think we should marry? If so, yes, they do exist and he is worth holding out for.
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Post by claire on Jan 8, 2007 21:36:03 GMT
yes Oons they do.
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I think the recipe for a perfect marriage is to marry a man you absolutely adore, who drives you crazy with desire, AND to apply the principles of this story to make the marriage work ie. make love an action not a feeling - as no matter how gorgeous, sexy and absolutely dreamboat he is, you will hit hard times together, and that is NO time to pout and give up - that is the time to keep going and keep loving, even when sometimes you may not want to anymore. Am I making sense? Would love to know what you girls think!
